What an excellent and seasonal topic. In the honor of Festivus I have made donations in each of your names to The Human Fund. Now, I've got plenty of grievances:
-The New York Islanders: Cheapest team in the NHL. Not just in terms of payroll, but also in terms of front office staff. So many key positions have been discontinued just to save money, while the team's future looks bleak.
-The New York Jets: Would be nice to stop being in the news for embarrassing things like foot fetishes and rogue strength and conditioning coaches.
-Chris Pronger: Probably the dirtiest player in the NHL. This guy just loves to be a scumbag, has been that way his whole career, and he definitely fits into the Flyers with that way of playing. I just wish the league would treat him like every other player and not be light on his suspensions.
-Colin Campbell: Would be nice to have, you know, consistency in the NHL discipline department.
-Matt Millen: I'm tired of hearing you speak. How you parlayed what had to be the worst GM performance in NFL history into multiple media jobs is beyond me. Someone get the microphone away from this guy. Seriously. Want to run a successful NFL franchise? Do the opposite of what Matt Millen says.
-Mike Milbury: See above, replace NFL with NHL.
-Mike Shanahan: I'm tired of reading about you and your son. Seriously, this guy is almost in the news more than Rex Ryan and that's saying something. And I don't think a single story about this father-son duo has been positive this whole year.
-James Harrison: You look to concuss guys, you should be fined and suspended. Period. Player health is more important than making big hits, regardless of what your posse says. Get over it.
-LeBron James: My respect for him as a potential basketball great has been diminished. He left his hometown team where he had a chance to be a hometown hero at home point with a team build with him at the base to join D-Wade's team. And the Heat will also be D-Wade's team. He wants to win, that's fine, but in my opinion he killed any chance he had to make it into the Larry Bird, Michael Johnson, Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, etc. discussion of the greatest players of all time. Side note: Bill Simmons can be hilarious. Now I say, "I'm going to take my talents to South Beach" every time I'm going to take a dump.
-Rick DiPietro: I feel bad, because this guy really wants to win, but it is getting to the point that retiring could be the right thing to do. Look at his games played totals the last three years. Now look at how many years he has left on that contract. Ouch.
-New York Mets: This one is pretty self explanatory.
-Desean Jackson: I'm tired of hearing you talk about how you are the best receiver in football and won't sign for anything less than that this offseason. Fact is, you aren't. You might not even be top ten. In fact, I'd probably rather have your teammate Jeremy Maclin over you. Look at how Vincent Jackson's desire to be paid like a top receiver worked out for him. I suspect that is in your future.
-Sean Avery: Mr. Avery, you are pretty much everything that is wrong with hockey.
I probably have a lot more, but I'll let you guys cover the rest.
